Are you a worrier? Do you blame yourself unnecessarily?
Self blame. It can be so much tougher than blame from any other source. Worry can take over your life if you let it.
Here is quote I found recently, by Louise Hay:
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”…
Here is how your handwriting can help…
Worry, when there is something major happening in your life and you are unsure about its outcome, would seem to be a natural response. It certainly is my response and I know I’m not alone in that.
However, by working on your handwriting you can learn to either take action or let go – which ever is most appropriate for the situation.
Self blame is never helpful. Assess, admit and move on. Again, let go.
So how can your handwriting have any influence on worry and self blame?
You can, through Graphotherapy, work on the strokes of your writing that are the visual indicators of these behaviours and replace them with strokes that indicate the behaviours you prefer.
Just as your mind influences your body movement – all body language including handwriting – your body language influences your mind and how you feel or think about things.
There are many traits that influence this, many more than can reasonably be covered in one post.
Here I will deal with just three:
- The worry loop,
- The self castigation (self blame) stroke
- The stroke that indicates you are staying in the present and not allowing your imagination to run wild.
First is the Worry loop.
When this shows regularly in writing it is an indication that the writer worries needlessly over things.
I’m sure you’ve all heard someone saying of someone else that if they don’t have something to worry about they are worrying about not having anything to worry about!
This is the worry loop writer.
The worry loop shows most in the ‘M’ and “N”, lower case or capital.
It involves a clockwise movement of the pen creating a loop at the baseline of the writing.
In the “n” it normally is just on the first vertical stroke. On the “m” it can be on the first two vertical strokes.
The more often it appears and the wider the loops the stronger the trait is for that writer.
This always indicates the unnecessary worrier.
They will also, obviously worry when there really is something to worry about too, but will spend a great deal of the time and energy worrying about things over which they have no control.
Then there is the self blamer.
This person often shows the trait of self castigation. “It was all my fault,” this stroke says.
This writer is ready to blame themselves over anything from the price of bread to today’s weather.
Notice the distinctive t-bar that goes over to the left, and stays there.
This is self castigation.
These writers are beating themselves up and blaming themselves mercilessly.
In addition, in the second word, the word “get” the sharp angle at the base of the “t” before the leftward t-bar shows analytical, or critical thinking.
If you add that to what is already self blame you have someone who is giving out a great deal of punishment to themselves.
The only solution, as far as your writing goes, for these to traits is to simply stop writing that way.
Each time you find yourself inclined to do so, change the stroke intentionally and tell yourself at the same time, that either there is no point in worrying or that you are not to blame, depending upon which stroke it is you are working with.
The last trait I want to add to these two is the trait of living in the present.
If you live in the past, you have the option of looking at all the things that did not turn out as you would have had them, and blaming yourself unjustly for their outcome.
If you live in the future, you can see your wildest worries come true – and of course the probability is that they will not.
But even if they did (and I know they won’t!) you would not have helped either yourself or anyone else by being upset and worrying about them ahead of time.
When things happen in the present you assess, evaluate and take action.
When things are in the future, firstly they may well not happen, and secondly, you can do nothing until/ unless they do. So worrying is also totally unproductive.
I know, I know – it’s easier said than done. Why do you think I am writing this? Been there, done that!
Your writing can help you stay in the present.
When you find you are worrying or indulging in self blame, take a sheet of paper and start to write out either a list or a narrative of things that are good in your life, of things you have to be thankful for.
Write out all the good things you have done. All the ways you have helped others.
As you write, work on making your middle-zone larger and your upper and lower zones smaller.
- The middle zone is where you normally write lower case “a” and “o”.
- The upper zone is where the upper extenders of “l”, “k” etc. reach up into.
- The lower zone is where the “g”, “y” etc. reach down into.
The middle zone is the present. It is where you are here and now.
If you concentrate on where you are now, you cannot at the same time be concentrating on where you’ve been or where you are going.
It clears that space of mind for you.
It is not necessary to try to change your writing permanently that way. Just do it for this exercise.
So my suggestion to stop worry and self blame in their tracks is:
- To remove the worry and self blame indicators permanently from your writing.
- Watch for any recurrence and eliminate it right away
- Take the time, when worry and self blame start to crowd your mind again, to write out what you are thankful for in this world
- because no matter how bad things get there is always even more to be thankful for.
- Write with a large middle zone shutting out everything but the present as you do this.
I hope you are reading this just out of interest, but if you are a worrier or take too much blame on yourself I hope that you will find this exercise helpful and soothing.
I have another little exercise for you too.
It has nothing to do with handwriting, but it is very powerful.
Call, speak to, email 3 close friends or family members, tell them you are doing some personal development work and need their help with an exercise.
Then ask them to tell you:
- What they most value you for and…
- What are your greatest gifts
If you are uncomfortable with this, send and email. I can be easier than doing so in person.
But do it.
Blame in on this exercise you are participating in, so you don’t feel like you’re just asking for praise.
Try it. You will be amazed at what they tell you – and you will treasure the responses for years.
Work on leaving self blame and worry behind, and concentrate on today and being the best you can be in the present.
For more on Graphotherapy…
Another post on handling change you might like…
Tell me what you think. firstname.lastname@example.org
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